The Your Voice section of The Poet’s List showcases articles and blog posts written by poets. These pieces may or not be about poetry. Most often, they are on topics with which the poet finds passion. You can find more of these posts, here: Your Voice.
The below is a post from 2014…
By Alexzenia Davis
This year I made a lot of changes. They weren’t easy, but they were all things that I either wanted or felt that I needed to do.
First change: Drinking. I dropped it. (Wine not included)
This was a hard one to give up because alcohol was literally like my boyfriend. I didn’t have an AA-type addiction or anything like that. I wasn’t an emotional drinker. I just really, really loved it. The smell, the taste, the look. :o It was all that. In fact, it got to the point where bartenders and waiters knew me for the drinks I ordered at their specific establishments. It was so real.
Anyway… back in January, I felt like God was telling me to quit. I had no idea why because I truly did not feel that I needed to. But, after a while, I knew I had to listen.
It was so hard. I even came across an old Instagram picture of me holding a Brooklyn Ice Tea from the bar, Milk, in Brooklyn and had a complete breakdown. Seriously, it was like a breakup. I thought that because it was so difficult, maybe I loved it more than I loved God—which I knew wasn’t true… but it was what I felt. So I was really hard on myself.
I prayed on it and asked God to take the load off of my shoulder. I heard Him tell me that I would fail and that it would be OK. He told me that my only job was to try. It was so comforting. I asked that He take away my desire for alcohol.
For the past 8 months, I’ve asked many a bartender to make me something “Sweet and virgin.” Sounds SO weird though.
And so I learned to truly trust two of the simplest little lessons ever; and they’ve changed my life.
I take leaps of faith into God’s arms. I go to Him first. I let Him handle what I can’t.
I take baby steps. …&& I don’t trip when I fall.