TORI DEAL
Her prose drapes her social media, teasing the depth and vulnerability of her debut poetry book, The Soul Spill. Tori Deal has spent years divulging aspects of her life via her role as a celebrated television personality (MTV’s The Challenge and Are You The One?) and as a podcast host (Tori Dealing With). As a poet and author, she delves even further into her most intimate stories. The Soul Spill—a 120-page collaboration between Tori and artist, Vira Becker—is described by the pair as, “a testament to the connection between emotion and art.”
An excerpt, courtesy The Soul Spill’s Instagram:
In this chat, Tori graciously discusses her poetry journey, self-care lessons and tips, and more.
The Poet’s List is privileged to present our conversation with the wonderful, Tori Deal:
On poetry:
Prior to landing on poetry, what memories do you have of your relationship with literature and writing as a youth?
Writing was always an escape for me. I remember coming home from the fourth grade one day with a piece of creative writing I had completed in class. I showed my mom, and she vocalized how impressed she was with my work. A small moment to her was a major impact on me. Her belief in me gave me the confidence to continue writing. Anytime I became overwhelmed with a subject that I didn’t have a natural proclivity for, such as math, I picked up my pen and wrote something to make myself feel better, boosting my ego in a way. From then on, I would use writing as a means to get through many emotionally defeating obstacles, such as my parents’ divorce, breakups, and depression.
When did you begin to claim the title of poet and how did you first connect with the poetry community?
It still feels uncomfortable to stand under the title of being a “poet.” It feels more comfortable to say, “I’m a human who enjoys writing poetry, and thankfully, people enjoy reading it.” When I think of a true poet, I think of Edgar Allan Poe. The depths of his darkness, the creative sway of his sinisterness, are captivating. He was my first love.
Do you write with the listening audience in mind, or the reader? In other words, do you consider yourself a “page poet,” a “stage poet” or both?
I consider myself both! Most of the poems I release into the world are written with an audience in mind. Anything that I’ve written for myself usually doesn’t see the light of day and will most likely never be publicly released.
In your opinion, what makes a good poem?
The cliche broad answer to this is: “A good poem makes the reader feel something.” My personal answer is that a good poem has a very clear meaning, usually expressed in the climax, and the entire story is threaded together with a melodic rhyme scheme. When I read a poem, I want it to feel like a song. I want to sense its rhythm, not just read it.
On The Soul Spill+ Career:
Congratulations on the release of your poetry book, The Soul Spill! Anyone who follows your poetry page on Instagram knows how powerful and transparent your work is. Can you tell us a bit about the book and how it came to be?
Awe! Thank you so much! Somewhere deep in my heart, I always knew that I wanted to release a poetry book. Instead of overthinking the outcome, I spent years collecting my poems in a folder. Through the ups and downs of life, I continued to write. No matter where I was – on a plane, in a car, in line at the grocery store – I’d pull out the notes on my phone and get the thought out. Once I had a big enough organic catalog, I reached out to my best friend Vira, who is my ride-or-die in writing, and together we agreed to bring The Soul Spill to life.
May you speak on Vira Becker, her art, your friendship and what makes this collaboration special?
Vira and I have known each other for over a decade. We’ve worked on many different types of projects together, and we often joke that we’re married. When you create a book with another person or a brand, you essentially create a child. Both creators have to foster that idea into a fully functioning and successful business. Finding the right collaborator is crucial because it requires trust, communication, and understanding. I couldn’t be more thankful to be partnered with Vira on every project that we work on together. She’s truly my other creative half.
What is your favorite poem from The Soul Spill and why?
My favorite pieces from the book are on pages 103 and 104. The combination of the poem and art marks the climax of the book. These pages embody the power and self-confidence that all the hundred pages prior were begging for. Every time I reread the poem, I feel the same empowerment as I did when I wrote it. Vira’s art is even more beautiful and moving than I could have imagined.
We are longstanding fans of The Challenge, and we are extremely proud of your success! You have been a mainstay of the show—and a force-to-be-reckoned-with—for quite some time. How has your time on reality television altered your relationship with your voice? Has it made you more in tune, more guarded, etc.?
Being on TV has been the most vulnerable experience of my life. Not only am I exposing my true nature while filming, but I’m also at the mercy of the editors and what they choose to show. Over the years, my voice has grown loud and then softened, only to return to its neutral state of confidence. When you watch the world tear you apart in comments, articles, and podcasts, you quickly learn that the only way to survive is to viciously love yourself. I’m open to all opinions but swayed by ones that matter. Releasing The Soul Spill came from the soft and confident part of my soul; a side that doesn’t always get highlighted while competing in brutal challenges.
You are an author, host of two podcasts and a television personality! Did you anticipate using your platform as a launchpad for your writing career or is this a surprising trajectory?
For me, both statements, “I can’t believe this is my life” and “I always knew this would happen,” are true. I have this sense that I’m on the right path and doing exactly what I’m meant to do with my life. At the same time, I’m in disbelief that it’s happening. I feel deeply honored to experience the platform I have and to share my own personal expressions on it. I never anticipated having this platform from reality TV. That part is a trip.
On you + advice:
You’ve been very open about your mental health journey, which is incredibly helpful for those struggling to determine their next steps. What are some practical tips that you can give those who are currently in the throes?
Two words: support system. Anxiety and depression are too difficult to navigate alone; nearly impossible. Before I went on medication, I talked to a prescriber. Before I talked to a prescriber, I spoke with a therapist. Before I spoke to a therapist, I spoke with a life coach. Before I spoke with a coach, I spoke with a friend. The link here is communication. Opening up to one person can lead to the branch that extends you to the next.
What is one thing that you wish someone would have told you when you were going through a rough time?
“This too shall pass.” Sometimes, it’s hard to accept that dark times pass. The ominous clouds of emotional turmoil can be so suffocating that we forget [that] weather changes. Perhaps, if I had learned this earlier, my lows wouldn’t have been so low. Regardless, if someone tells you, “this too shall pass,” this lesson can be learned from experience. In the end, understanding that difficult moments are transient, brings solace and hope.
What is one statement that you currently tell yourself (or what’s a compliment that you can start giving yourself) that really exemplifies self-love?
Lately, I’ve reminding myself that I’m not here to be anyone else but me. My body is mine, my words are mine, as well as my demeanor and experiences. I’m here to be the best version of myself, as long as I make that the target of my success, I will never lose. But the moment I try to be someone else, I will fail.
Is there any additional information that you would like included?
Thank you so much for taking the time to read this. It means a lot to open up and share my thoughts with whomever is called to read! It would mean the world to me if you support The Soul Spill in any capacity. Whether you buy a book, repost a poem on IG, or tell a friend, each share means the world to an independent author. Thank you for your support.
Check out the links, below, to keep up with Tori Deal!
Links:
Site: www.thesoulspill.com
Instagram: @TheSoulSpill
Amazon: The Soul Spill
TikTok: @TheSoulSpill
The views and opinions expressed here are those of the featured artists (ie. poets, authors, writers and experts) and do not necessarily reflect the official policy or position of The Poet’s List LLC. Any content provided by the artists are of their opinion, and are not intended to malign any religion, ethnic group, club, organization, company, individual or anyone or anything. Legal
